I left the house because there was no reason for me to stay. I came there to have fun and get a different experience. It stopped being fun. In fact it became more stress and drama than anything else. And I was feeling this way before the whole blog thing. I didn't relate to these girls. I was sick of feeling on edge all the time and like I had to defend my self from vicious attacks and unnecessary conflict.

After I apologized I knew I was in the dog house but I figured things couldn't get worse so I would stick it out. But then every little thing became a source of theatrics. If someone couldn't find something, everyone would look at me like I was now stealing things. Oh please. Like I am really going to start steal out of the blue. I didn't want anyone's sh*t anyways. Or when I had Markus over everyone freaked out like I was trying to be sneaky or steal Tanisha's friend. It was just normal sh*t that I felt I didn't have the right to do because everyone was mad at me. It was such bullsh*t. The worst of it came from Darlen. She really had no reason to be mad at me but she was such a little monster about everything. She really deserves to be smacked her in the face.

So I was already devastated about f*cking up my friendship with Cordelia and then I had to deal with crap from everyone else. No way, I did not sign up for unnecessary abuse. Losing a friend was bad enough, and knowing I had caused it was more than enough for one person to swallow thank you very much. If I had wanted to "play the victim," I would have stayed around and been victimized. But I had more important things to do thank you very much, like take care of myself and spend my time with the people I loved. I think you only get one life and when things aren't working out, there is a certain point where you say enough is enough and you cut your losses. I knew Cordelia was a reasonable person and I had done everything I could to show her I was sorry. I decided if she was going to want to be friends with me, it wasn't going to happen in that house and on a TV show but in real life.

I'm sure after I left the rest of the girls had a great time there, and it's too bad I didn't get to experience that with them, but I do not for one moment regret leaving. I think everything that happened there happened exactly as it was suppose to, because it taught me a huge lesson about trust and friendship. Don't take friends for granted, don't be judgmental and cherish what you have because once it is betrayed it will never be the same again. These days I am working hard to be a better person and friend.

People gave me sh*t for being the new girl and said I wasn't bad or some sh*t. The person I was baddest to was myself. Before I got to the house the life I led was about partying, doing drugs, stripping, and using people. Well, all that got me was a lot of pain. My eating disorder got worse after I left the house, so I ended up back in treatment by my own choice. This time I think I may have gotten it right and I am doing much better and no longer binging and purging or starving myself.

As far as the other roommates are concerned, I hope you ladies all lead wonderful lives. Its a shame we'll never be close because I am a really fun, cool and unique person. I'm much more than a monotone hippie. A lot of things have been said since the show stopped and personal attacks have been made on me and my character. Well, those are just the opinions of someone I don't really like anyway, so it doesn't matter what they think. If you have a problem with me, well that's your problem and that sucks for you.

Tanisha, thank you for being the one person to accept my apology at the house meeting, that meant a lot. And I will always envy you for meeting Joel McHale.

Neveen, As much as you joke about everyone, I think you have changed the most for the better. Keep it up.

Cordelia, you know what it is like to need a second chance, so thank you for giving me one.

Ladies, Gentlemen, that's a wrap.